Wednesday, November 28, 2018

A Change in Plans + 38 Week Bumpdate


Leave it to a man to change all of your plans at the last minute.

When I was born thirty-one years ago I was born by c-section and I’ve never had any negative feelings about them. My mom was in labor for four days, nineteen days after her due date, after two failed inductions, before finally having to have one so if anything I feel like she worked even harder to bring me into this world than I did giving birth to Madeline. 

There were times when I was pregnant with Madeline that I even hoped that a c-section would be an option for me. Mainly because I was just scared of the unknown. And even though I know thousands of women do it every single day, I was really nervous for what my vagina was about to go through.

I can’t believe I just typed that word on my blog. So, no one was more surprised than me at how upset I was when I learned at just a few days short of 38 weeks that I would have to have a c-section.

I have never really had the mindset that a traditional birth is the “right/normal” way to have a baby. I didn't have that desire to feel my baby enter the world. In fact, I was actually quite disappointed by how much I was able to still feel during my labor with Madeline after having an epidural. 

Yet, when my doctor told me I would have to have a c-section I cried. Not right away. I waited until I got home. But then I cried. I gained my composure for a little while and then cried some more. I cried about it probably a good six to ten more times over the following days. When I admitted to my girl friend, who is also pregnant, how many times I’d found myself crying over it, I cried some more. 

How emotional I felt over the whole thing really surprised me since I have never felt like I was “anti” c-section and I was pretty terrified of having to push out a baby again anyway after having a postpartum hemorrhage following my first delivery. 

One thing I have learned about being pregnant is that your emotions will get the best of you from time to time and that there will be times when you didn’t even realize you felt a certain way about something until you get to that stage of the game.

I had been having contractions on and off since about 34 weeks. I wasn’t progressing so my doctor wasn’t concerned but said this baby was head down, low, engaged, and ready to come out. I packed my bag and prepped everything I could ahead of time so I could leave for the hospital in a hurry if it seemed that this seemingly eager to come out baby boy was coming faster than Madeline.

I went to an appointment two days before I hit 37 weeks. Baby was still head down but hadn’t been moving as much as he previously had been. My OB said they slow down a lot once they get really low as they prepare for labor and his heart rate and everything looked great so no need to worry at all. 

I left that appointment and went to the dentist and Baby Boy started moving around like crazy when they started the teeth polishing. It put my mind at ease, even in the afternoon when I watched all his limbs wiggle and poke out like a tiny little alien. I felt like I got kicked in the stomach so violently that it made me sick and then he stopped squirming so rapidly and things went back to normal with little kicks here and there. I actually felt better because I felt less, um “pressure” so went on to enjoy my birthday celebration and didn’t think anything else of this until I went for my next checkup a few days later.

I casually mentioned this episode of crazy movement to my doctor just as he was finishing up my checkup and he immediately told me he wanted to do a pelvic exam just to make sure Baby was still in the correct position. Madeline was with me bouncing up and down in the chair watching Toy Story so it wasn’t really ideal timing so he promised it would be just a quick exam.

I got changed and he came right back in. Then, sure enough, he told me he could no longer feel the baby’s head at my cervix so off to have an ultrasound we went. Which showed that, at almost 38 weeks, he had decided to do a flip and was now complete breech. 

Corey and I decided not to try the version procedure to have him manually flipped because it was estimated to be only 40-50% effective for me and carried a lot of risks. I’ve been trying some things from the spinning babies website although most of them are also recommended for babies who are breech earlier on and seeing a chiropractor who specializes in the Webster Method. So far baby still hasn’t turned back and no one seems particularly hopeful that he will at this stage of pregnancy, which leaves us without a lot of options. 

I had to go ahead and schedule my c-section which is scheduled for the same day as Madeline’s first ever ballet recital. Cue even more tears. 

I have a lot of great mama friends who have been offering encouragement and advice and giving me lots of tips regarding the surgery and recovery. I’m not so much afraid of the actual procedure as I am of the recovery and being limited on what I can do - mainly lifting my big girl! 

So, that is a big change in plans for all of us. We go today for my final checkup at my OB office and will be praying Baby Boy has moved even though it still feels like there is a nice round little head right up at my ribs instead of down where it belongs!


Now, moving on to my final bumpdate of this pregnancy - 38 weeks:

Baby is the size of: a pumpkin and likely weighs almost seven pounds 

Weight gain: 30-32 pounds depending on the day 

Symptoms: lots of swelling in my fingers and feet, exhaustion, a great big belly! 

Cravings: Wine! And fruit. 

Eating lately: I haven’t been very hungry since he flipped over because I’ve got all the larger baby parts wedged against my stomach. I’m eating small meals and lots of snacks and just whatever we have available. 

Exercise: I finished exercising last week. I intended to sneak in one more class but my week ended up being busy so I just decided to call it a day and be proud that I made it through 37 weeks of exercise! 

Baby’s Movement: He is moving lots now that he has flipped over. His feet are really low so his kicks are pretty dang uncomfortable since he’s kicking a very sensitive area! But not much longer now so I’m trying to not complain about that.

Wearing: All maternity clothes and leggings with long sweaters are my favorite right now. 

Sleep: A lot better most nights but I’m also anxious so I have had a harder time falling asleep but once I get to sleep most nights I’ve gotten better quality, more restful sleep than in recent months which has been so nice! 

Stretch Marks: Not yet! Still applying my oil and belly butter 2-3 times a day. 

Belly Button: I’d say it’s half way in, half way out! Turkey timer is done! 

Highs/Lows: the high has been just knowing he will be here very soon! And spending some time getting ready for Christmas with Madeline before baby gets here. We went to see Santa and decorated  the Christmas tree as well as the other areas of our house. Then, we celebrated a great Thanksgiving with family. 

The low was obviously finding out that Baby Boy turned breech. It wasn’t a surprise I expected at the last minute and having him flip so late was a really helpless feeling because I feel like I had few choices/things to try. I know in the scheme of things it doesn’t really matter and as long as he is healthy, I won’t care how he got here six months from now. But it still feels like a big disappointment to me for right now. 

Looking forward to: Meeting our baby boy! And drinking a big glass of wine. Cheers! 


Here's a little side by side. I feel like I look pretty much the same - just swollen and worn out! Check out the final bumpdate from my first pregnancy here or read all pregnancy related posts here

Did you catch the items I’m buying for Baby #2 and my letter to Madeline for her last days as an only child? You can also see what I packed in my hospital bag in this post. 

3 comments:

  1. Aw. I'm sorry that this delivery won't go as you expected. I didn't have a c-section either time, but I can relate. I had to be induced at 38 weeks with Holden and when the doctor told me, I went home and cried. I was really emotional about it simply because it wasn't what I expected and it wasn't what I had with my first delivery. Everything turned out just fine though. Hugs.

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  2. I can imagine all of the mixed emotions you are going through with having to have surgery. BUT it does have its advantages, and this sounds totally out of your hands now; the important thing being the baby will come out and in the safest way possible for you and him. You really are getting great care, and it sounds like you are going to have a little boy who knows his own mind on your hands! ;) Two huge advantages are that you will be pain free AND it will be over quickly, not to mention that everything 'downstairs' will stay intact! I had to chuckle when you mentioned about that - but we ALL have those worries. Plus you've already had the experience of an epidural - that must eb the scariest bit, and you've done it already! One of my BFs had a C-section three times and she was up, about, driving and doing things waaay earlier than expected. You will be FINE! Praying for you Mama! Joanne xx

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  3. Friend! I've been wanting to comment on this post (after seeing your IG, too!) and just let you know that I've had two c-sections (My first was because Carrington was breech! We also opted not to do the version, though I tried spinning baby techniques, as well - turns out, her big head was literally lodged under my rib cage so she would not have been turning!), and am here to answer any questions you might have! I know a change of plans is never easy, no matter what. I actually loved my c-section births. Recovery is usually a bit more difficult than a vaginal birth, as I understand it, but the birth itself is pain free and it's kind of nice walking in there calm and knowing you're about to meet your baby! <3 Most important, of course, is that it's what's best for a healthy baby and mama at this point. I am sending you all of the positive vibes, and please reach out to chat or with any questions at all! xo

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